Want to send a letter or purchase any Molar items on the Tremlett site?  Then text your message to the Molar number on +447716337276…NOW (texts charged at normal rate) If you leave a phone message we will gladly transcribe that as well (calls charged at normal rate) and put it up on this page. Alternatively send us an email….

 

Dear Sir,

I am interested in purchasing some of your good goods. How might I do that? P.OSGOOD. Windsor.

DK writes:

Well P that’s a really good question. Go to www.tremlett.org.uk and there they all are! Simple!

 

Dear Nina

You are well pretty. I would like a foto!

A.HUDSON. Streatham

DK Writes:

Well A, you are indeed correct. She is a looker! But a pic of her is expensive!  Just send £10 to Ken Tremlett with an sae and he’ll send you one. Autographed is more expensive. Scantily clad even more so. Just visit www.tremlett.org.uk for all Molar foto solutions

 

Dear Tina

You are well pretty. I would like some of your underwear  (signed obviously) and a toothbrush you might use!

M. THOMAS Wrexham

DK writes:

Well M despite the obvious slightly erotic and licentious nature of your mail we do indeed have items of Molar clothing for sale and Tina’s g strings are available but as you would expect are very dear but I get the feeling you wouldn’t object to paying a lot of dosh for her skids. Why not have a look on the Tremlett website? www.tremlett.org.uk

 

Dear Dave

I want some advice on my potatoes. Can they grow in tubs?

I.BRITTON Stirling

DK writes:

Well I, yes potatoes can grow in tubs. We can sell you a tub and the potato seed at a competitive price. Why not go to www.tremlett.org.uk to find out? (if you want a more detailed response please mail us again marking your text ‘oi I want more please’ and we shall direct you to a premium rate phone line).

 

Dear Ken,

I would love a Molars plastic glove. Used. Do you have any available?

P.BONETTI Lewes

DK writes:

Well P, It’s ridiculous asking Ken about this. He’s very busy and important and doesn’t answer titchy little questions like wot you’ve just asked. For goodness sake P get a grip! But I can give you a measured response. We’re the ones that wear them and we discard them once they’re worn so they’re very rare. Consequently getting one from the bin is a costly business. I think there are some discarded gloves rescued from the rubbish bag on the Tremlett site. Why not have a look? There are lots of good goods there including cheap Molars towels and even picks used by guitarist Dave Green. Have you thought of buying an original signed Molars lyric sheet? Or set list? Or half eaten sandwich? They’re all for sale at a competitive price. www.tremlett.org.uk Alternatively if a used rubber glove is something you’ll be wanting every few weeks why not take out a Tremlett Direct Debit or hire purchase scheme ‘Never Never Ever’ scheme?

 

Dear Nina and Tina,

I love your singing. Your voices are perfect. Such sweet sounds. Like angels. Do you have any pictures of you both wrestling naked in mud and the mud strategically covers those female areas of modesty that are teasing us by their being hidden but then a mystery jet of water removes them and there you both are naked as nature intended and then I appear with my (CENSORED)

I.HUTCHINSON Windsor

DK writes:

Well I, thanks for your enquiry. There are many pictures for sale of all the band on the Tremlett website. www.tremlett.org.uk but none of the girls naked. Wrestling. In mud. Sounds a good idea to me. I shall ask the girls if they’d be interested in the photo session. Very good idea.  Yes.

 

Dear DK,

Did you not get my request for discarded floss?

D. STRIDE Cheltenham

DK writes:

Well D, no this is the first I’ve heard of it. As you may be aware floss is very expensive and more so when discarded so you may request all you like but if we don’t see the hard cash then you will not be getting any. This is not a charity and there will be no chuggers in the street stopping you with a cheeky grin to chat inanely about an ill monkey or a poorly deer or squirrel. This is a business. So yes you can have the discarded floss. But we only sell in small quantities that fit into an envelope. Go to www.tremlett.org.uk to see what pretty colours our floss comes in.